uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

I'll admit it, I'm stuck in a slump and am in need of some major motivation and breakthrough. I'm back on Herbalife shakes and replacing two meals a day, but my snacks are probably considered small meals that completely negate the work of the shakes. I can't even really say how much I'm losing on Herbalife these days because my weight is different every day; and not just a little, it's up two pounds, down three, up a pound, up another pound, down two pounds....I have no idea what's going on.

However, this nicer weather is helping a bit, and as shorts and tank top season approaches I'm starting to feel a greater need to shed at least the next 10 pounds. So I'm committed to swimming once a week and 30 minutes on the Elliptical three times a week as well as my herbalife shakes twice a day. Hopefully that will be enough to get me moving in the right direction again. I did 25 minutes on the Elliptical last night and couldn't believe how much better I felt after that. You gain some confidence in yourself and some energy too. Greg says its affirming to him and boosts his confidence that his wife works out and wants to take care of herself. I like making him feel good so that's just added motivation.

So instead of setting up new goals that I seem to fail at, and subsequently feel disappointed in myself, I'm simply going to "commit" to this healthier lifestyle and "commit" to exercising and eating right. Goals are great for some things in life, but not for exercise (at least not for me). Even if I hit my "goal" weight I'll start gaining it back because I'll feel like "hey, I did it and now I'm done". But instead maybe committing to living well and exercising will mean the weight will come off and when my body is at a healthy weight it will stop? I dunno...

Well, here's to my new goal to commit....or something like that.

Weight today: 167-166-168-165-166
Feeling: ugg

Oh my 167. I think I might have thrown out my marathon plans along with that cupcake wrapper. I've been "running" maybe twice this month. Both times my knees were really bothering me. If it's not shins it's knees. I've been unmotivated and down right lazy.

I really don't know what to do. I've thought about joining some kind of class, like kickboxing or even just boxing. I thought maybe if I paid a lot of money I would feel obligated to go...but there isn't much in town that interests me. On top of that, Greg just had "minor" surgery and he is pretty sick and weak. The doctors said he can't lift anything over 10 pounds for 5 weeks. That includes Liam so I'm here every night being the sole caregiver, which makes it even harder to get to the gym.

So until I come up with some brilliant solution to my fitness dilemma, I'm going back on the Herbalife shake meal replacements in hopes I'll be able to shed the next eight pounds that way. I'm still doing some minor elliptical stuff here at home and a little Wii Fit but that's really about it.

We have a sign up at the gym "No Excuses". But I'll give it a shot anyhow:

1. My knee has been bothering me when I run and twist it the wrong way...annoying

2. Super big job interview that required studying and eating donuts to manage stress

3. No shifts at work (the gym) and not wanting to make extra trips there

4. unmotivated

5. lazy

6. uhh I think I had a cold a few weeks ago.

Okay, these are getting pretty bad. But I know I need to get back into it; I just haven't been able to muster up the energy/motivation since returning from holidays and Christmas break. I did do a few 4K runs over the last few weeks but I've lost my consistency and overall drive. I'm still trying to make decent eating decisions, maintain portion control, and stop eating after dinner...but...you know.

My weight has been sitting steady at 166-165-167 depending on the day, but I fear I'm in another "slump" and my "big" 6K run is creeping closer and closer.

On top of all this, I ran out of my herbalife shake mix a few weeks ago and can't muster up the money to go get another supply. At %60 a container it takes a while to save for it. Especially when you're busy getting speeding tickets and buying Big Boy beds too. So instead of replacing meals with shakes I'm making lattes and eating pastry. Hmmm...

Any tips on getting motivated again???

I officially declare the holidays and partying OVER. It's been a month of holidaying, cruising, Christmas, new years, Liam's birthday, my birthday and for-no-apparent-reason pizza ordering [my bad]. But now it's time to get down to official business. I've printed off my 8 week schedule for beginner training for a 6K run, and since my run is 9 weeks away, I get one mulligan week [which i hopefully don't blow in the first few weeks]. I did run 1.5 miles last Tuesday [which is only 2.5 kilometers] and I was pretty tired by the end of that, but here's the clincher; the moonlight run I'm going to do begins with a big steep one mile downhill, then some flat ground, and then finishes with a mile up the steep hill. So whatever little confidence I previously possessed concerning this run has now dissipated and morphed into anxiety and doubt at my ability to climb a one mile hill after having run 3 miles already. I would love to go practice the hill and get a little used to it, but the fact that it's covered in ice and snow presents a slight problem. In any case, I'm still committed and I suppose setting the treadmill to a 10 incline will have to do until the snow melts and I can get my butt out to practice.

Now about my 8 week "plan"...
Mondays = rest day (thank heaven)
Tuesdays = 1.5-3.5 miles of running, increasing weekly and meant to be done at a medium speed (whatever that is)
Wednesdays = 40-45 minutes of a cross training activity; biking, elliptical, swimming
Thursdays = 1.5 mile run every week but at your "race pace"
Fridays = rest day (thank heaven again)
Saturdays = same as Tuesdays
Sundays = moderate 30 minutes of activity; walking, swimming..etc.

So multiply that by the next 8 weeks and I should lose about 100 pounds and my will to live. However, this is really something I want to do and feel proud of myself for doing.

Weight Today: not sure...feeling bloated and giving my pizza a day to leave me and a day for my confidence to return
Feeling: uh oh
Workout: well, it's Tuesday so I'm off to do a 1.5 mile run again tonight

Happy New Year Everyone!

January is known for its resolutions and new beginnings. It makes us ponder the coming year and attempt to better our lives by promising to give up X or start doing Y. Although we all know how successful new years resolutions can be. People tend to be good at keeping their resolution for a few weeks, but eventually life creeps up on us and we are right back into our old routines again. But here`s hoping that a plan will aid in my success...

2010:
January, February
- Train for my first 5k
March 20th 2010
- My first 6k run, Lethbridge Moonlight Run 2010
June 10th
-Ladies Fest 8k run
September
-First 10k or half marathon

As far as pounds go, I hope that focusing on these goals will keep my loss at a consistent rate. Meanwhile, I'll keep my progress recorded and see if having a more fitness related goal increases or decreases my weight loss. At the very least it will keep me feeling good and striving towards something I can be proud of.

Wish me luck!

"Umm, I'll have the Lobster Bisque, the Cheese tart baked in cheese, then the Prime Rib with the butter side and twice baked potato and I'll finish off with the chocolate cheesecake and another coke... err make that a diet coke...I'm watching my weight".

I kid you not, this is a typical cruise dinner aboard the Disney Magic. When it's all inclusive, it's alllllll inclusive. I threw caution (and my calorie counter) to the wind and ate as I pleased and loved every artery clogged minute of it. We would wake up and make our way to the breakfast buffet where I'd have a fresh croissant, some eggs, maybe bacon and fruit. Then lunch would be another buffet of Asian dishes, pastas, or maybe pizza and burgers on the pool deck. Then every single night we would dress up and make our way to some fancy restaurant where we would choose an appetizer, a soup or salad, an entree and a desert. I never even let myself think about how many calories I was consuming because why bother. And after 2 glorious weeks we came home and were tossed into turkey Christmas dinners, Birthday cakes and pizza parties.

So in short, I put off getting on the scale until yesterday. I was actually not as worried as I thought I would be because Greg kept telling me I looked the same and my clothes seemed to fit the same as well. But the verdict is in...

Weight Today (post holiday and cruise): 166
Feeling: WHHAATTT?? I don't know how it happened. It must have been the walking, swimming and de-stressing. But although the numbers are not as bad as I thought, I know that a lot of my muscle has turned to mush and I feel more sluggish than before. So YoHo YoHo it's back to work I go.

Thanks for staying tuned everyone. How was your holidays? Who wants to join me in a Spring 2010 10K run??

Well it has been a week and a half of my meal shakes and I must admit, I like it. I like feeling like there is some structure and predictability to my daily food intake. Before the shakes I would wake up and spend the day fighting my urges and hoping for the best. But with the shakes I know what I'm having for breakfast and lunch and I have all day to prepare and plan a hearty and healthy dinner. I've eliminated the guessing and hoping that when lunch rolls around I'll have the stuff and the will power to eat something healthy and good for me. Now I just throw some fruits and yogurts or whatever in my blender, add some powder and sip away. It's filling and yummy.

I prep some boiled eggs and trail mix things for when I want to munch on something, and we're keeping lots of christmas oranges around too, so even my snacking has been going great and I'm finally feeling like the eating part of the equation is under control.

Fitness wise, I've been running lots at the gym working my way up to doing a 10 kilometer run. I've been really enjoying it actually and I average about 11 minute miles and can run 2 miles fairly well. I'm a sweaty mess by the end but at least I'm feeling good and could keep going. However my nasty shin splints are acting up again so I need to keep working on that and giving them some rest.

I'm doing 30 minutes of running/walking about 4 times a week, 20-30 minutes of weights 4 times a week and one hour of swimming once a week. In January I'm going to be in a WorldBeat dance/cardio class for one hour once a week as well so that might help switch it up a bit too. And in the spring I'm planning to do my first 10 K run! All this scheduling and planning is the only way I keep getting it done. Only recently is it starting to become "fun-ish". So if you're in the midst of working out, I encourage you to keep at it because it does get easier as you gain confidence as well as stamina.

Anyways, as I prepare and pack for my 2 week Florida trip I have mixed emotions. On the one hand I really want to enjoy myself, have fun and indulge when I want to. But on the other hand I don't want to come back and be right where I started, nor do I want to go back to that feeling of grossness and lower self esteem. I think my "plan" such as it is, is to indulge but avoid pigging out. I think that's the good thing about going on a cruise; everything is included so if you want to try something but you only want a few bites then that's okay. So maybe I'll get what I want and have a few bites and keep my portions reasonable. Or maybe I'll check my "plan" with my baggage and do what I want!

Any tips for travelling?

Weight Today: 165 (less than pre-pregnancy weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Workout: yesterday 60 minutes, tonight 30 minutes
Feeling: Excited to be less than pre-preggo weight but still pluggin away. I'm actually feeling more determined than ever now that I'm back to where I was before I became pregnant. Ironically I'm the same weight (minus one pound) that I was on the cruise we took 3 years ago, after which I became pregnant. Hmmmm.